Day 4- Another Good Day

This is to be our second day of bonding with our new baby girl. The day begins with a sobering reminder of how uncertain and fragile the adoption process can be, and ends with King Burger minimum wage employees laughing at me.

We are picked up at our hotel by Adil, our race car driver in training, and Anna, our helpful interpreter who we now believe is the only person in the country who speaks English. Without her, it is nothing but charades. For example, the hotel seems to have a strict policy of one towel and a ½ roll of toilet paper per week or something. To get additional supplies, I walk down to the front desk holding up a dirty towel and empty toilet paper roll. Fortunately, they get the message. This is one example of success; most efforts end in humiliating defeat.

I do believe I am establishing a trust relationship with our hotel manager who speaks ½ English. Since we are here day-to-day until we can get settled in an apartment, she acts somewhat like an over-bearing, suspicious landlord with us her cagey tenants. She watches us come and go and wonders how long we will stay and if we will sneak out and stiff her on what we owe. Monte is scared of her. Each day our landlord asks how long and when we will pay (Kazakhs know how to ask for money in any language). Each day I say another ½ day or another day depending on the ever-changing story from the dream team on when an apartment with Internet might be ready for us (Wednesday became Thursday, Thursday became Friday,,, you get the idea). Then I go to the bank next door to exchange money, and return with another ½ or full days rent. Monte won’t let me return to the room without making sure I have settled with our new friend for fear she may come knocking as she has more than once. I have repeated this money exchange/payment process about 4 times now and I believe my consistency is leading to a great trust between us. I think she almost smiled today – a rare occurrence for any of the people we have met. Not much smiling is happening in Kazakhstan these days, at least not when we are around. She might not have smiled with her face today, but I am pretty sure she was smiling with her eyes. This is her running away as I try to take her picture. Is that a smile or grimace?

Now, back to the story and the sad and scary part of the day... An Austrian couple who is exactly one day ahead of us in the process had the rug pulled out after they selected a Russian boy from the Almaty City baby house. They had met the boy, selected him to be their son, and were set to begin the bonding process. But before they could sign the papers, another couple had showed up after them, selected the boy, and signed the papers to officially claim him. There was no possible reason why this should have happened because once a couple claims a child, even verbally, no one else should be allowed to see him/her. However, for some reason ($$$), this is exactly what happened. The Austrian couple explored all options to fight it but it was too late – they were devastated as you can imagine.

Adil and Anna rush us to the regional Ministry of Education office on our way to the baby house to ensure we get our papers in place since we had not signed anything yet either. At this point, Monte and I are unaware of the Austrian couple’s situation and oblivious to what is happening. Anna spends a long while in the regional office and finally emerges with signed paper in hand. We head to the baby house and deliver the paper to the director who signs us in. We will sign in each day for 14 days, starting today, to complete the bonding period. With this in place, Anna reveals what happened to the Austrian couple, the importance of the official paperwork, and how persistent she had to be in the regional office to get the paperwork from the bureaucrats who aren’t in a hurry for anything. Deanna isn’t officially ours but we are one step closer with this document in place. We pray our process proceeds smoothly without any hiccups, and also for the Austrian couple who must be devastated.

Now the highlight of the day comes and we see baby Deanna again. We are so excited to see how she does with us today. She is delivered by one of the Kazakh helpers. She is quite a bit fussier today and honestly doesn’t respond very well to us. She is as cute as ever but must have been dressed by the color-blind nurse. She seems out of sorts, tired and hungry maybe? And then something beautiful happens while Monte is holding and rocking her. She drifts slowly off into sleep. I’m thinking, “Hey, wake up baby. We are here to bond with you. Let’s get on with it.” I then realize this is it. This little baby falls asleep her whole life alone in a crib with two little fingers in her mouth to sooth herself. And today, for the first time, she falls asleep in her new mother’s arms. It is a beautiful picture.

Then something cool happens with a little more action. It is time for us to leave and time for the babies to feed. But since we were late to the baby house getting our documents in place, the director decides we can stay and feed her. In comes this full big bottle, and I remember it taking Nick and Natalie quite some time to finish one of these off. Monte puts it in her mouth, and away she goes. Given the conditions and lack of stimulation, this baby girl is not yet good at many things. But she is good at a few things and sucking down this bottle is right in her wheelhouse. I don’t know the exact amount of time, but the bottle is empty in less than 90 seconds. It was all business. No breaths. No breaks. Gone. This is the type of performance that fathers get excited about.

After the little nap, the bottle, and a big burp, a new baby emerges. She is as sweet as ever and fully checking us out while we do the same with her. A few minutes later, the Kazakh helper returns. Our time is up for the day. We kiss her goodbye and leave.

After returning to the hotel, Monte and I venture out again for our daily meal. We survive on very little in the mornings and night, but try to have one big meal a day. Today, our selection is the hamburger place, hoping for a taste of home. Our first clue that this might not be a taste of home is that the sign says Kind Burger, but the hats say King Burger. I’m thinking Whopper.

I try to order a double King Burger and get Monte a single. I try to make it easy and point at the combo meal on the big display. I am not sure how they don’t understand my order-my-picture approach, but somehow they don’t. I say King Burger and they seem to get that. I point to myself and I point at Monte and hold up two fingers. So far so good. I point at French fries. 2 fingers. I point and say Coke. 2 fingers.

I am thinking it shouldn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure this out - Larry Holmes could figure this one out. This all seems to register with the gal behind the register. We have a moment and I believe we have success. She knows how to take money so that part is ok as well. The order comes and we get:

- one huge burger

- one tiny burger

- one order of fries

- one huge Coke

- one tiny Coke

What just happened? It is close enough. We eat and realize this is the last time we order hamburger in Kazakhstan. I am unsure what this thing is made of and am afraid to ask (and couldn't ask if I wanted to). We finish our meal and head out. I carry the tray looking for the trash can that doesn’t exist. Monte points out that all the workers are snickering and pointing at me. Apparently, this is a full service fast food joint and my actions are way out of line. I act like I know what I am doing, drop the tray at the closest table, and head for the door. Now that I think about it, I am pretty sure some of them were smiling. That is some progress at least.